is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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