my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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