somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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