Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
