I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
