i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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