What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
