i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
