There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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