Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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