Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
