didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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