Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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