2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
