I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
