Banned from zoo.
Again?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
