Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
tell me about the eggs
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
