I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
