Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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