My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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