he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
