...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
