if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
