Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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