I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
