Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
