Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
