So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
