That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
