ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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