Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
