Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just gargled with NyQuil
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The cops high fived after they tackled you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
