Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
