somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize