Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
