The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I understand Curling. That high.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
