Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
