omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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