Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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