Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
