we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
