i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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