I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
