Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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