Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
