Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
