I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
