NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
