you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
