I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im holly from the hills drunk
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
