That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
