u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize