i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize