why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
