Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
