wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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