I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
