Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
