Ambien. No doubt about it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
