Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
