I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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